Sunday, October 31, 2010

{one month}

my oh my, where has the weekend gone... seems like it just started!

We had a great weekend: a fun baby shower, celebrating a husker win, our sweet boy is one month (can't believe it!) , and of course halloween.  the bad news is my computer has crashed, which contained all of my fun pictures and blog ideas.  thus i'm left empty handed tonight.  but know that i will be back in running order soon! (hopefully!) my sweet hubby, is letting me borrow his laptop {because he knows i'd go CRAZY without it!} luckily i have my blackberry which still keeps me reading my fav blogs, but it's just not the same, and the worst part is I can't blog on my blackberry! {sad...someone should really invent a blogging cell phone}  but it makes me realize how much importance i put on "physical" things sometimes, such as my laptop.  we all do it...put significance on insignificant "things".  sometimes i think god just needs to remind us, give us a little "reality check." people are more important than things.  always will be.  thus, i'm weirdly happy to say that my laptop died {don't worry i had all my photos backed up on my external harddrive! thank goodness, for ONCE i am on top of things!} although, i hate to shell out the $$ to fix it or buy new, it has already made me appreciate doing things other than being on my laptop.  maybe i was on it too much the past 3 weeks.....whoops! 

on a more happy note: my sweet baby boy is 1 month old!  I cannot believe how fast time has flown by.  everyday is a miracle and i still find myself looking at him thinking how darn lucky i am to be his mommy! He is a child of God, but 10 months ago i was blessed with being his momma here on earth and i couldn't be a prouder or more grateful that God has blessed us with this little miracle.  how it all took place i still can't fathom.  how this little human being has grown from a sesame seed into my 9 lb blonde haired baby boy.  my head can't wrap around it, and heart wants to burst at the seems.  even the "bad" fussy nights are a blessing.  sometimes i feel like i am living in a dream.  your whole life you dream of what you children will look like, what your children's names will be, and how they will act. and now I'm living that dream! and it is the most rewarding experience of my life.  this little man has me smitten. 

Cash Austin,
You are the most precious little man I have ever laid my eyes on.  i go to bed praying for you and dreaming about who you will become some day, and you are the reason i get up in the morning.  you give me strength and patience i never thought i had.  i love telling people i am your momma. and there is no better or more rewarding job in this world.   i miss you terribly when you sleep, i want to kiss your chubby cheeks and count your sweet little toes forever and i know someday you will not want me to kiss your cheeks or touch your toes, so i'm soaking up every precious moment of this time in your life.  i love all your facial expressions and the sweet coos you make all day long.  you love your bottles and feeding time, you have yet to leave a bottle anything but empty! when you are upset you make alot of "ugh" sounds and your face gets bright red.  momma doesn't like that...so then usually i smooch your cheeks and then you instantly calm down.  i think you know my voice.  when you hear me, your eyes get really big.  everyone says you have my eyes and that makes my heart smile.  when we take you out of your car seat you are curled up in a little ball and you like to sleep with your arms up by your face with your hands clinched shut.  i love how you always cross your feet, left on top of right, just like your daddy.  you did this in my tummy because on one of your ultrasound pictures your feet are crossed. i used to joke that you were a girl because your legs were crossed, but sure enough, you were a boy..... my boy! I love your chubby arms and your skinny little legs.  but just because they are skinny doesn't mean they aren't strong. oh how strong your legs are! you love to kick when you are upset, and sometimes you kick your legs when we try and get your pants on, which makes it really challenging! I love when you sleep on daddy's chest, you two are my whole world. I love singing you songs, and when you smile your little smile, daddy calls it your "gummy smile".  I heard you laugh the second week you were here, and it was the cutest thing ever, now every once in a while you will giggle and I adore it.  don't ever forget the importance of laughter later on in your life.  I love that I was the first one who gave you your first kiss of life.  someday some lucky lady will get to have you, but until then you are all mine. I love how when i tell people your name, people call it "cool"! Everyone loves it! Daddy and I call you "cashbug" , "bubbie", "bubs", "cashman", "sport" (uncle cole calls you that!), "squirt" (prapa ron calls you that!) and "sweet pea" (I call you that!).  I love the little notches in your ears, it was one of the first thing the nurses told me when you were born.  they said it looked like a little mouse took a little bite out of both of your ears, and i love it.  it is your "unique" features that i love.  everyone says you have daddy's head shape, and mouth, and you have my eyes and my nose.  you are a perfect 50/50.  you will always be perfect in our eyes and we cannot wait to see how much you will keep growing the next month.  I love how i could go on and on with all the reasons I love you. I thank God for you every day, forever and ever i will always love you Cash Austin. 

Love forever and a day,
 your momma

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