Thursday, September 23, 2010

{39.5}

well, still no baby...
i can't believe i'm sitting here, nearly 40 weeks and still no baby.  I thought for sure, this baby would be an early bird.  but it seems he must like his little home in my tummy....


i get bittersweet feelings, knowing this whole pregnancy process is nearly over. any day, any night, could be my last night of being pregnant with my first baby. you'd think most women would be so ready to meet their baby, and i am..... don't get me wrong.  i absolutely cannot wait to hold my baby in my arms, kiss his little nose, count his tiny toes, and tell him how much we love him, and how much jesus loves him.  but this is my first born. and just thinking about how far we've come in the past 9 months is truely remarkable. 


as we speak my little life living within me, is squirming around.  i think he surely must be out of room in my belly. there is no possible way for it to be all that comfortable in there....but he hasn't chosen to come out yet, so it must not be that bad.  i mean he does eat some yummy food if i do say so myself, and he is perfectly warm and cozy.  unlike me, who is still a raging inferno of a body....


i know in god's perfect timing my baby will come.  but my doctor has decided that i will be induced on the 29th and have a baby by the 30th, if he doesn't come between now and the 29th.  and i am okay with that.  as much as i will truely miss the memories of my pregnancy, i know our baby will give chance and i so many more memories that soon this pregnancy will just be a blur of a history in time.  we will look back on this period of time, the past 9 months, with hearts so full of love they could burst.  we have grown as a couple, together. and that is truely the most amazing thing about this all....as my belly grew, so did we.  


i still have to pinch myself to remind myself of how lucky i truely am. my boys are my life. and i am forever grateful that God has given me two of the most amazing boys i could have ever dreamt or asked for.  god has always provided in my life when i have needed it, he has never failed me.  everything has come together in his perfect timing.


so here i am confessing, i will miss wearing my belly of mommyhood.  maybe just a little....  it has truely been an adventure.  i never thought i would see the end, and here i am, looking back on it all. and feeling grateful.  because of all the horror stories i've been told from complete strangers.  i consider myself lucky.  for the most part this pregnancy has been fairly easy....i've made it through the morning sickness, the panic of telling our parents, the uncontrolable hormones, the constant bathroom runs, all the hot flashes and moments where i really thought i might faint due to the heat, the stares, the sleepless nights, the questions, the shock, the prayers, the weak moments, the exciting moments....we've made it! and soon i will be holding the greatest reward our baby boy.  and there is no price you could ever put on that.  it was worth it all.


here's to the beginning of our new journey, a new chapter, in the storybook of our lives....i am so blessed.







*i would appreciate a little prayer or two for chance and i and our baby boy in the next week.
 thank you friends!*

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